Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Do you other SPD parents feel like this?

I have been feeling lost lately. I feel like I'm just floating along in a fog. I feel like I'm merely existing.

I don't know if I'm just exhausted or if I'm just overwhelmed. I'm not sad, or depressed. I'm just plain tired.

I feel like I've withdrawn from friends. That wasn't necessarily purposeful. It's just hard to vent to someone who doesn't get it about my son's weird sock issues. I'm tired of hearing people say, "all kids do that" or "I'm sure it's just a phase." I know it isn't just a phase, and I know all kids don't do that. I don't want someone to tell me it's ok when it's not. I just want them to listen and try to understand.

Then the people who do "get it" already have their own issues to deal with so I feel like my issues are inconsequential. They have their own sock issues so they don't need to hear about mine.

That in turn contributes to the isolation that comes with SPD.

Maybe it's because of that that I feel like I'm just surfing along, waiting for the next meltdown. Maybe that's why I'm just plain tired. Maybe that's why I can't seem to keep things straight in my head.

I'm usually so organized. I'm usually on top of things. I've never been a procrastinator. However, in the last several months I've noticed I can't keep things straight. I forget about appointments until the last minute. I schedule things on days I already have other plans. I overbook myself one week and then have nothing planned the next.

I'm hoping things will regulate soon, that I will begin to feel more like myself again.

I miss me.

7 comments:

  1. I am right there with ya! I feel so scattered lately, and so frustrated that I can't keep up with anything because dealing with SPD takes so much of my time and energy.

    Hugs! You're not alone.

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  2. You need a punching bag...and your darling hubby doesn't count! LOL just kidding! well maybe not ;-)

    Big Hugs and lots of love!

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  3. Things will get better.......it may not seem like it but they will. You will find yourself again, you are still there but you are dealing with too much. Let some stuff go, remember to laugh and spend fun time with those you love. Soon things will get easier.

    Maybe you can go for coffee with someone from your SPD support group every two weeks. That helps. Talking to someone who is in the same situation that you are in is good for you and the other parent too. Remember, you are not alone.

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  4. I agree with the other commenters-- I just wanted to add this--
    our kids have SPD and their behavior will not be seen or percieved as normal, but their behavior IS normal for an SPD kid! ...
    Breathe and let some of the expectations go--
    you do not have to be perfect,(you don't have to be perfect also!) maybe it's time to say no to a few commitments?
    anyway... all that being said,
    I have been there and felt this, I say feel it and then -- to steal a line from the movie Meet the Robinsons' Keep movin' forward!

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  5. Hi! I just found your blog and enjoyed reading your posts - you could be writing about MY son (except for the school parts as he doesn't go to school)!

    Jessy
    www.homeschoolblogger.com/Jessy

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  6. I hope you are able to take some time for you to be able to find you. We have two boys - my oldest has SPD. We have found that a parent weekend alone every 6 months or so works wonders! We are fortunate that my inlaws have a cabin in the woods. So one of us takes the boys there and the other stays at home doing various house chores and enjoying some time to regroup. It keeps us sane and allows for us to jump back in the game. Hugs to you. It will get better soon:)

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  7. Your son sounds a lot like my 4 yr. old. Some days can be very rough for us as well. I just found your blog and love it! Thank you for sharing your experiences. It helps me feel like there are others out there struggling with the same challenges. I have been blogging about my son for a while now as well and just finished a "sock" post which I can relate to some of your experiences. I blog at
    http://sensory-processingrules.blogspot.com/

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