Thursday, January 28, 2010

Young Love...

When I picked Andy up at school today, he immediately said, "You'll never believe what happened today." He had the saddest face and I couldn't imagine what terrible thing had happened. Had he been bullied again? Did someone make fun of him? Did he lose something important?

Nope. His "girlfriend" decided to "go out" with another boy. Yes, they are first graders talking about falling in love and going out. Apparently Andy overheard a conversation between the girl he called his "girlfriend" and one of his best friends. They were saying that they were "in love" and one of them asked the other if they should "go out."

Andy was devastated. He told me he had been brainstorming a way to make them breakup. He had considered writing a mean note calling the girl stupid and making it look like it was from the other boy.

Is this really happening? At 6? Someone pinch me so I can wake up from this horrible dream. I didn't want to act silly about it, because I wanted to validate his feelings. But I had no idea how to handle the situation.

I told him that he can't make anyone love him, and if this girl is "in love" with someone else, he needs to just move on. Besides, she's "in love" with one of Andy's best friends so he should be happy for them. Then for good measure, I told him he's much to young to be worrying about finding a girlfriend.

Phew. I hope I handled that correctly. I thought I had at least 10 more years before I would have to have that discussion!

Relationships are often hard for SPD kids. They tend to have Emotional Dysfunctions so they have difficulty relating to and/or getting along with their peers. They are often introverts, prefering to play on the outside, or in small groups. They have difficulty holding "meaningful" conversations with others, and have trouble interpreting normal social cues and nonverbal communication from others.

Throw in their tendency to be impulsive, aggressive, sensory seeking, and easily frustrated, and lets just say SPD kids aren't always the most fun to play with.

Andy seems to be feeling better about his "girlfriend" falling in love with another boy. Let's hope tomorrow is a better day for him.

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