Cat Got Your Tongue?

Andy has been unusually quiet lately. Withdrawn almost.

Yesterday I picked him up from school and he was, well, quiet. I asked him what was wrong, and he said nothing.

But, he wasn't talking about his day, was answering questions with one word answers, just being very quiet.

I said, "Sweetie, you've been really quiet lately. Is anything going on?"

He thought about it for a minute, and replied, "Sometimes I'm quiet because I'm sad. But usually I'm quiet because I just don't have anything to say."

Well said.

One of the cool things about having a gifted child...

You never know what's going to come out of Andy's mouth, and it's often funny to hear the very insightful things coming out of such a young man. This boy is brilliant. Almost too smart for his own good.

Yesterday, he was playing his Nintendo DS. He only gets to play video games for 30 minutes a day, so he cherishes each and every minute. Nate wanted to multi-play with him, but Andy politely declined. Nate asked again. And again, and again, to the point of whining/begging. Andy was not giving in.

Nate finally said, "You are being soooo mean!"

To which Andy calmly replied, "No, Nate. I'm not being mean. I'm just being self-serving. Do you know what self-serving means?"

OMG! I almost fell out of my chair. I was trying so hard not to laugh, but hearing him try to explain to a five year old what self-serving meant was just plain hysterical!

And since when does someone actually admit to being "self-serving"? Hahaha. I'm used to grownups who are but pretend not to be. And here my innocent seven year old is proud of it.

Man, never a dull moment! I love it!

Our appointment is scheduled...

Andy's re-evaluation with the neurologist is scheduled for Monday, May 3rd. While I'm nervous, I'm glad to hopefully finally get the answers we've been looking for. Please keep us in your thoughts that day, and pray that we get the answers we need.

Does he, or doesn't he???

Two years ago I took Andy to a neurologist. I had concerns about him...knew something wasn't "right". I feared he may have Asperger Syndrome. I had been told by a few clinicians that I should have him evaluated because they had the same concerns.

In the matter of 5 seconds, the neurologist told me no way. He said my child instead had ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Now, those of you who know Andy know there is no way in hell that he has Oppositional Defiant Disorder. He is the sweetest kid, doesn't cause trouble, doesn't get in trouble in school. In addition, Andy displays no ADHD characteristics other than the fact that he's wiggly, which I know is from his SPD. I tried explaining this to the neurologist but he wouldn't listen. I think he thought I was one of "those" moms who was looking for something to label my kid with.

The neurologist also went so far as to tell me that SPD is not real, it's a manufactured diagnosis that holds no weight. I wanted to punch him in the face right then and there. Anyone with an SPD kiddo knows that isn't the case. Anyone who has watched a wiggly kid get into a net swing and calm down in about 2 minutes knows it's real.

We left that appointment with me feeling angry. Angry that the neurologist so quickly dismissed my concerns, angry that he didn't listen, angry that he so misunderstood Andy and I that he thought my child deserved the ODD label.

Fast forward 2 years and here we are again. Andy's SPD symptoms are getting worse, he's been very out of sync the last few weeks. His emotions are off the charts, the meltdowns are more frequent.

Andy had his seven year check up at his pediatrician's office yesterday, and she told me she wants me to have him reevaluated by the neurologist. She thinks he may qualify for the Asperger diagnosis at this point.

Now I'm angry. I'm upset. I'm scared. I went from being told he probably had it by a therapist 2 years ago, doing research and convincing myself that it was probably true, to being told he didn't by the neurologist. Now for 2 years I've been telling people he's as close as he could be to the spectrum without actually being on it. Then I'm told he probably does have it and I should have him reevaluated.

I'm afraid that if he is diagnosed at this point, we've lost 2 years that we could have been working on it. Would it have made a difference? I don't know. He's been receiving treatment for his SPD the whole time...he's been in OT. But would he be in a different place now if he had received the correct diagnosis 2 years ago?

So, which is it? Does he, or doesn't he? I just want to know one way or the other so we can move on.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Boy!

My "little" Nathan is 5 today. Not so little anymore, but my baby nonetheless.

He is energetic, stubborn, smart, thoughtful, sweet, totally adorable, and definitely "out of sync".

But,I love every single inch of him.

Happy Birthday, sweet boy!

How's it been in YOUR house?

This last week has been worse than the one before. I didn't even realize that was possible, but it apparently is.

Andy has been extremely emotional, crying several times a day about anything and everything. He's been zoning out, retreating into his mind. He's been impulsive, aggressive, and negative.

I have had the hardest time pinpointing the cause. The only thing that is different is the weather. It's been warm...in the upper 80s for the last few weeks. We went from low 60s to upper 80s almost overnight.

Maybe he's getting too much outside play at school...

Maybe he's got spring fever...

Maybe he's nervous about the upcoming summer...

Maybe it's allergies...

I really have no idea. I just know it's getting worse as each day goes by. He's uncomfortable in his own skin, constantly fidgeting with his clothes. He's getting in trouble at school. His vocal stimming has gotten worse.

I hope he can get back in sync soon. I feel bad watching him be so uncomfortable in his world.

So, how's it been in your house the past few weeks? Anyone else having a hard time?

So, what do you think? Is it hereditary?

Do you think SPD is hereditary? Do you have others in your family that you suspect may have SPD or other sensory issues?

I'm curious to see what you guys think. Having 2 boys that both have SPD makes me think that it is hereditary, and they certainly get it from my husband. (I love you, Tom, but you know I'm right on this one!)

Research indicates that it is most likely hereditary, but of course they don't know enough about it yet to really know for sure.

So, you tell me...where did it first turn up in your family?

This Momma Bear is on the war path...Better watch out!

I know all mothers have "Momma Bear" moments...those moments when our protective instincts are heightened and we just want to battle to our death to protect our little cubs. I am in full blown Momma Bear mode, and let me tell you why.

I picked Nate up from daycare today. He goes two days a week for 5 hours. His daycare provider has been in business for 30+ years, is licensed, etc. Nate has gone to her for 2 years now.

Nate was really quiet when I picked him up today. I asked him what was going on, and he said he was sad because his daycare provider wouldn't let him have his blankie during his nap.

Now, both of my boys have EXTREME attachment to their blankets. Attachments to blankets, stuffed animals, etc, is very common in SPD kiddos.

Nate literally has to take his blanket in the car everywhere. We don't leave the house without it. Even for 5 minutes. He has to know that it's there just in case. He takes it into school inside his backpack. He never gets it out, he never uses it at school, but he knows it's there. He's taken it to daycare every time to use during naps and it's never been an issue.

Nate "smells" his blanket. He holds it with his hands right up by his mouth and under his nose. He does it while watching tv, when he sleeps, when riding in the car, etc. It's his comfort item, his security blanket.

He's been even more attached to it the last few months. I'm sure it's related to his emerging SPD issues. Sometimes when we are about to get out of the car he reaches back, grabs his blanket, gives it one last "smell" and then he's good to go.

I don't care if he still uses a blanket. I don't care if he needs to take his blanket with him in the car everywhere we go. I don't care if we have to pack it in a backpack to take into the movies with us.

So, why in the hell did she refuse to let him use it today? He said she told him he couldn't have it during his nap today because big kids don't use blankets.

"She lied, though, Mom. Because I'm a big kid and I use a blankie," he said.

"Yes, sweetie. You are a big kid. And big kids CAN have blankets," I said.

I wanted to call her right then and there and read her the riot act. Who cares if he uses his blanket? Why choose today for it to suddenly be an issue?

Nate said he refused to lay on his cot because she wouldn't let him have his blankie. He said that she then yelled at him and told him he had to lay down. He said he didn't want to lay down without his blankie, but he finally did.

"I was really sad without my blankie, Mom," he said.

This Momma Bear is SERIOUSLY angry. There will be several discussions over the next few days with the daycare provider. Nate will most definitely be allowed to have his blankie next week when he goes.

Otherwise this Momma Bear's claws will be coming out.

So the week didn't get better...

After my last post, I hoped the week would get better. It didn't.

I shouldn't have expected it to. The boys had Good Friday off, then there was Easter Sunday, and you all know what holidays do to our SPD kids. Then they had Easter Monday off.

Now here we are on Tuesday, and the kids are a wreck. Andy is crying over everything, Nate is throwing fits left and right. Lots of tantrums, yelling, talking back, etc.

I'm really hoping they will regulate by the end of the week. I hope they get back to "our" normal really soon.

Having 2 SPD Kiddos in the House...

I may just have to rip my hair out.

It has been a rough few days for Nate SPD-wise. Luckily, Andy has had a few good days. I can handle it, I think, if they keep up the alternate day thing...

However, today, it seems to be a bad day for both. Lots of tears, lots of sensory seeking that involves hitting/banging into each other, which then leads to more tears.

My auditory hypersensitive son doesn't want to hear his auditory hyposensitive brother talk incessantly, so there's lots of yelling, then more tears.

Then there's my favorite, "he's not being nice to me" "no, HE'S not being nice to ME".

I may just run away.

Ok, so I can't run away, but a girl can dream, right? Is it almost bedtime?