Friday, September 24, 2010

Brotherly Love...or is it?

Andy and Nate are best friends yet total enemies.

You parents know what I'm talking about. Either they are playing sweetly together or screaming at each other and wrestling each other to the ground.

Andy and Nate's sibling issues seem to be compounded by their SPD. Andy is auditory defensive, while Nate is auditory hyposensitive. Because of this, Nate talks non stop, very loudly, which drives Andy crazy. When it gets to be too much, Andy yells at Nate and then hits him. Obviously Nate doesn't like that, so he hits back. Nate is tougher physically than Andy. Nate hits harder, which Andy reacts to very sensitively, which almost always results in Andy crying.

Also, Andy hums when he's preoccupied and concentrating on something. This drives Nate crazy. So, when he's had enough, he yells at Andy. Since Andy has auditory sensitivity, he gets mad when Nate yells, so he yells back or hits him.

Does this sound like your house?

Andy is also easily overstimulated, and because of that, he prefers to spend time by himself in his room decompressing. Nate constantly goes in to bother him because Nate is the opposite...he's an extrovert who wants to be the center of attention. It seems like almost daily I have to tell Nate to get out of Andy's room, to only go in if he's invited, yada yada yada.

Sometimes parenting two children with SPD is exhausting and near impossible! You never know if it's going to be a "you're the best brother ever" kind of day or an "I hate you and get away from me" kind of day. Never a dull moment...


  1. yup. that sounds like my house. My oldest and my middle one are like oil and water one day, and best buds the next (sometimes even the next minute). Right now we're working on dinner time - my oldest can't stand it when his younger brother chews w/his mouth open. He says the noise makes him crazy. Of course, my SPD 4 yr old eats like that for input, and has also now discovered it drives his brother nuts, so he does it more. Sigh.
    It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I started to wonder if my oldest is suffering from SPD as well on the avoider side (like his mom and dad...)
    How are you feeling by the way?

  2. I'm feeling better, thanks. I had a large bleed a week ago and had to be on bedrest for 4 days which was MISERABLE. But, now I'm back to life with a few restrictions. I'm hoping this baby is going to be a breeze after birth since she's being so difficult right now. LOL.

  3. Wow, it sounds like you have been visiting my house! My two oldest kids have SPD and have such wildly different symptoms that they often drive each other nuts. Add to that normal sibling rivalry and it gets crazy here sometimes!

  4. It sounds like my house with my typical kid! Sometimes I think the SPD/Autistic one is the calm rational one! Then he jumps in and that theory goes out the window.

  5. Sibs - they love and loathe each other. Special sibs, even more so. I truly feel God made sibs to teach us the intensity of love even in the midst of extreme frustration, challenge and annoyance at times. Plus, the incredible bond developed through sharing fun, forgiveness, fights and foolishness. I know my sibs and I experienced all that, and I see it in my kids, too.

  6. Ugh!! So my house! My boys wtih SPD bug my girls and that gets them upset and yelling too! And my daughter from China is LOUD and can be quite the drama queen crying loudly at a drop of a hat, which of course sends my youngest SPD boy into fits which involve hitting, slapping,and hair pulling, which of course leads to more crying!! You can just see people shaking their heads at us!!

  7. Hi Brandi! I have a sensory seeking 18 month old son who also has speech and eating disorders and some other delays. We are very new to SPD and a bit overwhelmed and lost on how to handle certain situations in public or when he is left in the care of someone else. Other people just don't understand some of his ways or how to calm him when he gets past the point of no return. The fact that he does not understand how to communicate just makes it worse. If you can give me any advice at all, I would be so grateful.
    I have a blog at and my email is

    God bless you!