Another bad day...

Today was a no good, very bad day for Andy.

When I picked him up from the bus stop, he was a crying mess because he fell down while running off the bus. To make things worse, his shirt was all buttoned incorrectly because he apparently thought it was appropriate to unbutton it while at school today, and then obviously had a difficult time putting it back on.

It seems like we've hit a brick wall. He had been doing so well, and now we're taking several steps back.

For the third day in a row, he pulled two cards at school. One of the cards was pulled because he was up out of his chair when he wasn't supposed to be, and he "can't remember" why he pulled the other card.

He also had an argument with his "BFF" today. You see, Andy has been taking his BFF with him to OT every other week to join in the activities. Yet, today Andy promised a girl in his class that she could go next time instead. (Andy has a new crush...that's a whole OTHER story). So, apparently BFF got his feelings hurt and doesn't want to be friends anymore. Sigh.

Does it get much worse than that?

I'm not sure what the cause of this is. I hate this part of SPD...trying to figure out why things suddenly get worse after periods of "almost" normalcy.

Friday was the fall party at school, Monday was the start of Red Ribbon Week, today was pajama day...maybe all of the disruptions in his school day routine are catching up with him. Or maybe it's the crazy above normal October temperatures. Or perhaps it's because he didn't have Occupational Therapy at school this week because the OT is on her honeymoon.

Who knows! I just hope, for his sake, that things settle down again soon.

We are in full on meltdown mode...

Andy is having a major meltdown. It's been a while since I've seen one this bad.

He's been doing really well lately. Well, he had been. I even blogged a while back that we were in the "calm before the storm." Now the last few days have been a bit more difficult. He's been more mouthy at home, and has gotten in trouble at school a few days in a row.

And today, well, things have "hit the fan" so to speak.

You see, Andy has a problem with rushing through his homework to get it done, and in the process often makes silly mistakes. I mean, this kid can do math with his eyes closed, yet on his homework papers he almost always makes at least one mistake.

This has carried over to his work at school as well. He has recently "forgotten" to capitalize letters at the beginning of his sentences and "forgotten" to use punctuation.

Because of this, we have instituted a new homework policy. Andy is expected to review his homework before showing it to me to check for mistakes. Almost every day, I ask him if he double checked it, and he says always says yes, even though he didn't.

Today he said he had finished his homework...in less than 2 minutes no less. I asked him if he had reviewed it, and of course he said he had. Now, I knew before looking that he obviously didn't check it over. I told him, "You better make sure you checked it. If I find a careless mistake, you will lose your video game time for this evening."

Now, before you think I'm a crazed, perfectionist Mom, I'm not. I don't expect my son to never make mistakes, nor do I expect him to always have a perfect score. However, I do expect him to carefully complete his work and not make careless mistakes.

Andy looked at the paper and said, "Oh, well let me check it really fast" and spent about 5 seconds glancing at the paper before handing it back to me.

I said, "Are you sure you double checked it? Do you need to look again?"

He said yes he was sure and no he didn't need to look again.

I looked at the paper and he missed the very first question. Simple word problem, problems much like the ones he has been doing for the last two years.

So, no video games for him today. And, that's what pushed him over the edge. He cried, he whined, he begged.

I feel bad that he is so upset. Yet, I was clear with the expectations, I was clear about what the consequences would be, and I gave him TWO chances to double check his work.

However, I am confident that he will live through the night without his video games. And, I know that what I'm teaching him...that we must be careful in our work and double check for mistakes...is a valuable lesson that he will someday thank me for.

Even if he thinks I'm mean and terrible for the time being...

Check out Andy's Story...

We were the feature story on another blog this week. Check it out:

http://www.hartleysboys.com/2010/10/16-bernatow-family.html

Enjoy! And remember, the fundraising is still taking place. Please consider making a donation to help educate and support other families dealing with SPD.

30 Stories in 30 Days

Please take some time this month to read 30 SPD stories in 30 days on a great website:

http://www.hartleysboys.com/

I hope that you will be touched by the stories, and compelled to donate to The SPD Foundation to further research and education about this disorder. If you decide to make a donation, please do so in my family's name. To do this, put my name and email address in the comment section of your donation.

Look for my family's story on Saturday, October 16th!

Brotherly Love...or is it?

Andy and Nate are best friends yet total enemies.

You parents know what I'm talking about. Either they are playing sweetly together or screaming at each other and wrestling each other to the ground.

Andy and Nate's sibling issues seem to be compounded by their SPD. Andy is auditory defensive, while Nate is auditory hyposensitive. Because of this, Nate talks non stop, very loudly, which drives Andy crazy. When it gets to be too much, Andy yells at Nate and then hits him. Obviously Nate doesn't like that, so he hits back. Nate is tougher physically than Andy. Nate hits harder, which Andy reacts to very sensitively, which almost always results in Andy crying.

Also, Andy hums when he's preoccupied and concentrating on something. This drives Nate crazy. So, when he's had enough, he yells at Andy. Since Andy has auditory sensitivity, he gets mad when Nate yells, so he yells back or hits him.

Does this sound like your house?

Andy is also easily overstimulated, and because of that, he prefers to spend time by himself in his room decompressing. Nate constantly goes in to bother him because Nate is the opposite...he's an extrovert who wants to be the center of attention. It seems like almost daily I have to tell Nate to get out of Andy's room, to only go in if he's invited, yada yada yada.

Sometimes parenting two children with SPD is exhausting and near impossible! You never know if it's going to be a "you're the best brother ever" kind of day or an "I hate you and get away from me" kind of day. Never a dull moment...

The calm before the storm...

I haven't kept up with the blog lately because, well, I didn't have a whole lot to say. School started, and Andy was doing well in second grade. Nate started kindergarten and was thriving.

And, quite honestly, their SPD seemed to be pretty under control.

But, as any good SPD parent knows, times like that are usually the calm before the storm...

Apparently that was the case. Andy had a "not so good" day at school today. He got a "blue" day, which means he had to pull three cards. Yikes. Andy is my child who never gets in trouble except for the occasional blurting out an answer without raising his hand. A "blue" day is way out of character.

The note his teacher sent home listed the following as his infractions:

1. He blurted out an answer when it wasn't his turn.

2. He was "moving about" during instruction time.

3. He was talking during instruction time.

Do you see the problem with this? All of these are SPD related.

And, I can tell you what the trigger was. Today was picture day. Andy is very OCD about his schedule/routine, and anything out of the ordinary is a problem. Can it get more disruptive than picture day? There was a constant flow of children in the hallway walking to and from pictures, his normal routine was disrupted while his class went to get their pictures, and he was herded into a classroom full of bright lights/cameras where he had to stand in line surrounded by kids waiting for pictures...you get the idea.

I guess I'll have to go to school in the morning to speak with his teacher. I certainly don't want Andy to be a disruption in the classroom, nor do I want bad behavior excused. However, I feel like there maybe should have been some verbal reminders about his behavior instead of punishment. His behavior was well out of the ordinary for him, so I would think the teacher would try to get to the root of the problem.

This is the part of parenting that I don't enjoy. I wonder when the next calm will come...

Long time, no blogging...

The nausea has subsided, the bleeding has *almost* stopped, and I am feeling human once again.

I hope to be more active again soon. I know I said that before, but that's right when the bleeding started...Apparently this baby in my belly doesn't understand that my plate is already pretty full dealing with two active SPD boys.

On a good note, things appear to be progressing well, things seem to have settled donw, and we found out that we are having a GIRL!!! We are very excited and feel really blessed to be adding her to our family.

Enough about me...more SPD stories coming soon.