Just Checking In...

Sorry I've been absent for so long. Life with a third has made things chaotic to say the least. LOL.

Andy has been doing very well this year. He has matured greatly and can usually manage his sensory needs fairly well. He still receives OT weekly through the school, but he hasn't needed any additional therapies for quite some time. Now if only we could get his anxiety under control...

Nate on the other hand...well, it's been a rough few months. He was doing fabulously, and then in February things went downhill fast. He started getting in trouble almost every day at school. He was sensory seeking like crazy, and would become easily excited which caused him to act out. It was a rough time! I got him back into OT, and he did really well. Things improved almost immediately. He was just discharged (again) last week.

Now baby girl has been spinning in circles. Seems harmless enough to most people, but to the Mom of two kiddos with SPD, it's an immediate red flag. I have watched her like a hawk since birth and often find myself thinking, "That could be a symptom of SPD." Now I have to just wait and see how things go with her. If she ends up with sensory issues, so be it. I can handle it. I feel like I'm almost an expert now having been through it two times before! LOL.

So, that's what's new with us. Those of you who have stuck with this blog through my absence, thank you. I hope to post more regulary now.

Getting back into a routine...

I always hate this time of year. Well, that statement may give you the wrong idea. I actually LOVE the holidays, but hate the transitions and the chaos that they bring. The transition from school to Christmas break and back to school was a tough one for my kiddos this year, as it always seems to be.

Just to complicate things, Mother Nature threw an extra added bit of fun into the mix. We had an ice storm hit right before Christmas vacation was SUPPOSED to start. So, the kiddos had two snow days on what would have been the last two days before break. That kind of threw off my plans a bit!

Surprisingly, the 18 days they ended up being off (Yes...you read that right, 18 days!!!) were very pleasant and a lot of fun. And, they got along reasonably well, despite the fact it was way too cold to do much outside.

However, the transition back to school this morning was horrendous! Nate was arguing about what his breakfast choices were. He cried when I wouldn't let him watch tv while he ate, even though we've always had a no tv before school rule. Then he was refusing to wear his coat even though it was in the 20s outside.

Andy on the other hand was moving slow as molasses and couldn't seem to remember his morning routine. I had to keep giving reminders on everything...from brushing his teeth, to finishing his breakfast. What a disaster!

Then of course both boys came home from their first day back exhausted which caused crabbiness, then periods of hyperactivity sprinkled with lots of sensory seeking. I of course get it, and have tried to be very understanding. My husband on the other hand, ran out of patience after about 5 minutes and has threatened all sorts consequences all evening long. I feel like a referee!!!

Now I'm glad to see it's almost bedtime, and thankful that we survived the back to school transition.

Let's hope tomorrow morning goes a little more smoothly!

How far we've come...

It was about this time last year...the change of seasons...that Nate started to really show symptoms of SPD. It started with his socks. He had to have them pulled up really high, and he only liked a certain style. Then his pants...he wanted to only wear elastic waist pants, and he had to have them pulled up halfway to his nipples like a grandpa. Then he only wanted to wear long sleeves...he couldn't stand for his arms to not be covered.

Yet this year we've had no clothing issues. He progressed from shorts and short sleeves to jeans and long sleeves with no problems. His tactile issues seem to be nonexistent.

Honestly, since we completed his therapeutic listening program, and his course of OT, I really haven't had any SPD issues with him at all. I knew his was a mild case...I mean, he didn't show any symptoms for years and then all of a sudden had a few clothing issues. It really caught me off guard, actually, because I truly thought I wasn't going to have any sensory issues with him.

I'm sure from time to time little issues will creep up, and when they do, I know how to handle them.

But boy, does it feel good knowing that he has come so far in such a short time.

I'll admit, I'm a little scared...

There's something that's been bothering me lately...something I'm scared of.

I haven't been really vocal about this yet, because I wasn't sure how people would react. I didn't want to be judged. But, I've decided that most of you followers of my blog will totally "get it".

As you know, I'm pregnant with baby number 3. I wasn't going to have any more children. I had come to terms with being the Mom of two terrific boys.

Yet, God's plan was different from mine, and here we are excited to be expecting a baby girl.

This is where the fear comes in. There are so many days that I feel like I already have everything I can handle already on my plate. I often feel like God overestimates my abilities to handle the stress that comes along with having a child with special needs.

I wonder if this baby I'm carrying will also have SPD. I worry that the sleepless nights I endured with Andy will return. I wonder if she'll be irritable and have the chronic ear infections and reflux.

I secretly hope that she doesn't have any sensory issues. And that makes me feel terrible. I've loved every minute of being Andy's Mom...even the challenging parts. I wouldn't change any of it. I've grown so much as a person and I've become a great advocate for my children. I've learned to help other parents who are coping with SPD come to terms with the diagnosis and move forward. I've educated lots of people about what SPD is.

I just feel like I would love to have a child without a diagnosis, and that makes me feel selfish. I should be blessed that this is all I have to deal with. Things could be so much worse. SPD, in the scheme of things, is a little thing. My child is still a bright, funny, sweet boy. He makes me smile every day.

I know that if this little one is born with SPD, I can handle it. I can handle anything. Andy and Nate taught me that. I also know that I will love her unconditionally no matter what.

So, that's what I've been afraid of. It's just my hormones, I know. But, I feel better having admitted it. Thanks for understanding.

Another bad day...

Today was a no good, very bad day for Andy.

When I picked him up from the bus stop, he was a crying mess because he fell down while running off the bus. To make things worse, his shirt was all buttoned incorrectly because he apparently thought it was appropriate to unbutton it while at school today, and then obviously had a difficult time putting it back on.

It seems like we've hit a brick wall. He had been doing so well, and now we're taking several steps back.

For the third day in a row, he pulled two cards at school. One of the cards was pulled because he was up out of his chair when he wasn't supposed to be, and he "can't remember" why he pulled the other card.

He also had an argument with his "BFF" today. You see, Andy has been taking his BFF with him to OT every other week to join in the activities. Yet, today Andy promised a girl in his class that she could go next time instead. (Andy has a new crush...that's a whole OTHER story). So, apparently BFF got his feelings hurt and doesn't want to be friends anymore. Sigh.

Does it get much worse than that?

I'm not sure what the cause of this is. I hate this part of SPD...trying to figure out why things suddenly get worse after periods of "almost" normalcy.

Friday was the fall party at school, Monday was the start of Red Ribbon Week, today was pajama day...maybe all of the disruptions in his school day routine are catching up with him. Or maybe it's the crazy above normal October temperatures. Or perhaps it's because he didn't have Occupational Therapy at school this week because the OT is on her honeymoon.

Who knows! I just hope, for his sake, that things settle down again soon.

We are in full on meltdown mode...

Andy is having a major meltdown. It's been a while since I've seen one this bad.

He's been doing really well lately. Well, he had been. I even blogged a while back that we were in the "calm before the storm." Now the last few days have been a bit more difficult. He's been more mouthy at home, and has gotten in trouble at school a few days in a row.

And today, well, things have "hit the fan" so to speak.

You see, Andy has a problem with rushing through his homework to get it done, and in the process often makes silly mistakes. I mean, this kid can do math with his eyes closed, yet on his homework papers he almost always makes at least one mistake.

This has carried over to his work at school as well. He has recently "forgotten" to capitalize letters at the beginning of his sentences and "forgotten" to use punctuation.

Because of this, we have instituted a new homework policy. Andy is expected to review his homework before showing it to me to check for mistakes. Almost every day, I ask him if he double checked it, and he says always says yes, even though he didn't.

Today he said he had finished his homework...in less than 2 minutes no less. I asked him if he had reviewed it, and of course he said he had. Now, I knew before looking that he obviously didn't check it over. I told him, "You better make sure you checked it. If I find a careless mistake, you will lose your video game time for this evening."

Now, before you think I'm a crazed, perfectionist Mom, I'm not. I don't expect my son to never make mistakes, nor do I expect him to always have a perfect score. However, I do expect him to carefully complete his work and not make careless mistakes.

Andy looked at the paper and said, "Oh, well let me check it really fast" and spent about 5 seconds glancing at the paper before handing it back to me.

I said, "Are you sure you double checked it? Do you need to look again?"

He said yes he was sure and no he didn't need to look again.

I looked at the paper and he missed the very first question. Simple word problem, problems much like the ones he has been doing for the last two years.

So, no video games for him today. And, that's what pushed him over the edge. He cried, he whined, he begged.

I feel bad that he is so upset. Yet, I was clear with the expectations, I was clear about what the consequences would be, and I gave him TWO chances to double check his work.

However, I am confident that he will live through the night without his video games. And, I know that what I'm teaching him...that we must be careful in our work and double check for mistakes...is a valuable lesson that he will someday thank me for.

Even if he thinks I'm mean and terrible for the time being...

Check out Andy's Story...

We were the feature story on another blog this week. Check it out:

http://www.hartleysboys.com/2010/10/16-bernatow-family.html

Enjoy! And remember, the fundraising is still taking place. Please consider making a donation to help educate and support other families dealing with SPD.